If people can't use the web site, they can use the 800 number!

(To talk to people struggling with the same data center that's tossing its digital cookies.)

Breaking the rules, here is a comment:
If a million people have to call 1-800-F1UCK-YO to register, and each person takes one hour of the time of the person on the far end, in the next four months, and we assume they can only answer the phone at reasonable hours. that would require about 1,500 people answering the phone if we ignore queueing theory.  Sadly, queueing theory is unavoidable.

To serve a million call hours in the next four months with "servers" (phone answerers) in an M/D/k queue.... hell, if I could answer that I'd have a PhD in computer science.